What’s on the patient’s charts

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The following are comments from doctors as recorded on patient charts.

1. “By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better.”

2. “Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.”

3. “I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.”

4. “While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”

5. “She is numb from her toes down.”

6. “Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.”

7. “Discharge status: Alive but without permission.”

8. “The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.”

9. “Skin: Somewhat pale but present.”

10. “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.”

11. “Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.”

12. “Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.”

13. “She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.”

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