So I was back to my usual routine at the gym (toned down intensity, however) last week. It feels good to be back and I feel a surge of energy…right after the grueling muscle pain that lasted for days, of course. Not much has changed except that the weights have increased in number but it’s such a joke that the weight lower than 5 kilos is 750 grams dumbbell. What can you do with a 750 grams DB!? And I can’t believe so many ladies use it.

Anyway, the other change is in the changing room. I heard from a colleague who continued going to the gym when I stopped during my pregnancy/childbirth that there had been an increase of Russian women coming in for a swim or working out in the gym AND then walking around without nothing on inside the sauna and changing rooms like it’s nobody’s business.

(but of course this is Dubai, nudity is everybody’s business…)

It’s hot in Dubai right now and it’s no denying that some nationalities like it ‘al fresco’ in the changing rooms but since this is a Muslim country, nudity is not permitted in public areas like this. There’s a big sign in English not to be naked but alas…it was not enough. The gym manager apparently received a lot of complaints from other gym members of the naughty kinky ladies so the next day, we saw this:

I don’t speak or read Russian but if you do, do tell me what it says! I have a strong feeling it involves saying, “No butt cheeks exposed, please.” or something like that.

One of things I love living in Dubai is being able to eat so many kinds of fruits, no matter what the season is. Pretty neat considering we live in the desert. Look what I found at the grocery store: Persimmons! It goes by the name “Kaka” here, just a wee bit different to what they’re called in Japan: “Kaki”.

It’s my favorite autumn fruit – that one fruit that sends me to nostalgia land every time I see it, or eat it.

Persimmon was the first fruit I ever ate in Japan. It was a chilly, rainy autumn day in October 16 years ago when I was ushered into the school dormitory, the place where I would spend more than 4 years. I did not know anyone and there was no other girl from my country. There were several students from Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand – they were all friendly but at the end of the day, they would gather in their own groups, talking in their native languages. I was scared on my first night in Japan. Will I ever find friends?

I was lying in bed looking at the ceiling and thinking of my family back home (just you know, thinking because there is no internet and I did not have any mobile) I heard a knock on my door and when I opened, a sweet smiling girl, in her jammies greeted and welcomed me, bringing a basket of orange-ish fruit I didn’t know. She’s two years older than me and she’s from Thailand. I told her to come inside and we talked like there’s no tomorrow.

It was the night I made my first friend in a foreign country, while peeling and eating persimmons! So this fruit has a special place in my heart – the sweetness reminds me of the sweet gesture shown to me by a stranger turned good friend. I buy it every time I see it, even if it’s a bit expensive! (The label on the photo says 33.90 dirhams/kilo or US$9.00/kilo)

1. Fear – The trip to the airport on baby’s sleeping time. The probable cries of hunger and demand of feeding regardless if I’d be covered or not (boob flashing could get me in trouble so yeah, tough). The long hours on the plane, the number of diaper changes I need to make, yada, yada, yada…

2. Denial (camouflaging as positive self talk) – I can do this. I mean everyone’s doing this. Surely a mom has traveled around the world with a small baby in tow! This is not the first time this happened. I can do this!

3. Facing Reality - No, I can’t do this. Being in a plane for a total of 16 hours with a small baby is difficult. It’s either I go crazy or the other passengers would. I hear baby wails have a decibel level high enough to interrupt the plane’s navigation controls. I can’t be responsible for any mishap.

4. Guilt – What am I doing? I’m being a coward! Am I robbing my in-laws, relatives and friends back home of the chance to see the baby in person – I mean, duh, photos in Facebook sometimes don’t suffice. And my in-laws do not know what Facebook is. Neither do they email.

5. Depression – Not going on this trip would mean, I would not be going at least until the husband’s next paid vacation – which means in another year. It’s been 4 years since I have been to my birth country and 3 years since I’ve not been to my second home (in Japan). I feel like I’m in prison. Help. I am a new mom, I seriously need a vacation.

Shut up. My 90 days maternity leave was NOT a vacation!

6. Acceptance – Fine. Life goes on. The husband must be eating our favorite ramen in Japan right now. That’s fine. Go fatten yourself, honey. I’ll just be here content with the baby. Really.

7. Regret - I should’ve been braver. How could it be too difficult? As long as I take along my boobs, the baby should be ok. He can cry alright inside the plane alright and annoy passengers but it’s not like I’m going to meet those people every day of my life! And seriously people, make use of the free booze on the plane!

The husband will go on a two week trip to Japan, in which he ‘gentlemanly’ asked if I could go too, with baby in tow. I said yes!, then I said no, said yes again and finally said no!

You’ve read about the weird part, now on to the serious, no non-sense topic on how to find a job in Dubai. Here are some scenarios, tips and word(s) of caution.

1. First, beware of scams – NEVER pay any amount for those ‘consultancy’ companies offering to receive your CV and finding a job on your behalf – in exchange for any amount.

There’s this consultancy firm in Ajman that promises a job and make you pay 200-300 dhs upon submission of your CV. Don’t go there! You will just be wasting your time and money. Honestly, I’m surprised why this firm still operates and continue to post ads and dupe job seekers without getting caught.

Another consultancy firm in Sheikh Zayed Road called Core Elements. They are scam too.

And I’m sure there are lots of other. Rule of thumb: never trust any firms that require you to pay cash in exchange for a job, no matter how small the amount!

Here are the legit ones that accept online applications: 

Nadia

Al Futtaim

http://www.arabianbusiness.com/jobs

http://dubai.dubizzle.com/jobs/ (Proceed with caution, there are lots of jobs posted by that consultancy in Ajman, which is scam)

http://gnads4u.com/home/jobs

http://www.monstergulf.com/

http://www.gulftalent.com/home/index.php

http://www.emiratesgroupcareers.com/english/

…just to name a few.

2. Come in the cooler months - Expect a lot of walking around town for interviews and some companies are far from bus/train stations so you are required to walk. But believe me when I say that job seekers who come here now are way luckier than those who came in 2007 where the train system was non-existent, the buses scarce and stink.

Bear in mind though that jobs in the cooler months are competitive as Dubai welcomes a deluge of job seekers.

3. Connect with friends – Nepotism strongly exists. Sometimes, it’s not what you know but who you know. There are companies who don’t hire if you don’t have a blood relative working within the company (true story!). While there are a lot of jobs advertised, it’s more likely that those who are hired have some connection in some way with people working there.

Connect with friends, with friend’s friends as there are a lot of jobs unadvertised and only available to people within the organization.

4. Females: be alert of the danger signs – There are those employers that take advantage of desperate female job seekers, be sharp and alert to read the signs.

My friend had been offered a secretarial position with duties that can only be summarized as “all around”. The boss shamelessly told her to live with him to satisfy some of his “needs”. So disgusting. My friend left after just 5 minutes into the interview.

5. Stand firm with your salary expectation – The days where Filipinos, for example are compensated properly are long gone. Before, the minimum pay for secretaries/clerks is at least 3,000 dhs (US$810)/month. Right now, my friend had been offered an appalling 1500 dhs-2000 dhs (US$405-540)/month by at least 5 companies!

How will a person live decently and save up (the main reason for working abroad to many is saving up) with this meager salary?

Just for the kicks – a Western educated secretary, of the same qualification could rake in at least 10,000 dhs (US$2,700)/month, more than three times that of a secretary from Asia! And that is bluntly, shamelessly acceptable in Dubai.

TIP: When asked of your salary expectation, do not go too low. Keep your head up but be realistic. A ‘realistic’ starting salary for any non-technical admin job is 3,000 dhs. Sad to say, there are lots of job seekers from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh who are willing to accept the job with half the amount so that reduces the chance of Filipinos, for example, of getting that job.

BONUS TIP: With so many jobs under the sun (literally), always stay positive that there’s that one job specially for you! Polish that resume, keep your head up, be confident and go get that job!

**While some job seekers apply from their home countries, it’s very common for people to come to Dubai on tourist/visit visas and look around.

A friend of mine is here in Dubai right now looking for a job. She is my best pal I haven’t seen in more than ten years. Now, we are enjoying time together (she’s staying at my house) and I really hope she’ll find a job so she can stay.

I’m helping her search for jobs online and what do you know? The job ads out there range from ridiculous to discriminating to hilarious and suspicious. Here are a few:

First, there’s that very common ‘ethnic exclusivity rule’. Job ads specify which nationalities they prefer – mostly related to salary. An Indian and a Filipino having the same qualifications and performing the same jobs can differ in salaries.

And as if the ‘Only Indian” thing isn’t enough, employers mention preference to people from particular Indian states. This ad wants an Indian from the state of Kerala. I don.t know the reason for this – maybe the manager is from Kerala and don’t want to hire someone where he needs to speak a language different from his native tongue?

Then there’s the ‘exclusion rule’. HR people post ads like ordering to buy only a certain breed of dogs.

Of course there are those suspicious ones. Lewd.

Except for the word “honest” and maybe, “smart” in the ad, one would assume the employer is looking for a prostitute.

Another one:

The ‘female receptionist’ must have been a typo. I swear they must have wanted a model.

And presenting the ad meant to ward off Ugly Betty’s…

I am almost tempted to reply to the ad saying: I can assure you I am the best looking lady among all the applicants but you can’t have me because I hate employers who can’t spell properly!

There you go. Finding a job in Dubai, the hilarious/weird/ridiculous version. Serious version -> Finding work in Dubai, Part 2.

Today, FIVE years ago, we landed in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Honestly? I can’t believe we are still here. Not that I want to be somewhere else right now but when I look back at what I was thinking when we first set foot here, it’s unbelievable. We thought our stint would be short, like a year or so but we’re five years now – if we were a fruit tree, our trunk would be big, strong, sturdy and we have bore fruits already!

Five years. That long in a foreign country. Our daughter was three when we came here and now she’s eight years old so it’s official to say that she has spent more time here than her birth country (Japan).

As we turn another year in Dubai, I flip through our photo albums and reminisce the years.

2007: Pristine (3 years old) and me 5 days after we landed in Dubai:

You could see she’s fresh from Japan – still doing that peace/victory sign! I am holding a city guide book here as we explore the neighborhood looking for a nursery school. Pristine had been in daycare since she was 20 months old so she’s not used to spending the day cooped in the four walls of the house.

She was looking for friends!

2008: Taken at a hotel in Abu Dhabi when we visited the neighboring Emirate

Pristine has grown to love the place. We found a school to put her in and while she had to struggle with a new language (she only spoke Japanese when we came here), she learned really fast and became the most sociable girl in school!

2009: A random picture of the two of us, just to show how tall she has become.

2010: Outside the Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi

2011: The world’s tallest building, the Burj Khalifa on the background.

We have said our goodbyes to some fellow expat friends, most of them spent 3 years here and have declared they are done and want to move on. When we said we’re turning 5 years, they ask, how many years more? Hmmm, truth be told, I don’t know. We have not gotten tired of the desert life, just yet.

As for me, who has lived in Japan as a student and an expat for 10 years, adjustment was hard at first. I had lots of frustrations, disappointments and moments of piss at work, about the law, public transportation, etc – especially if I start to compare Dubai and Japan. But I’ve read somewhere that the first rule of an expat is to leave your culture behind and adopt that of your host country, or at least try to. And I did which made things easier for me.

Not perfect but easier.

So what other reasons made us stick around longer? A follow up post is brewing…

*****

From my archive: My Dubai anniversary posts on our first, second, third and fourth year.

*****

If you’re an expat reading this, how many years are you in your host country?

Yesterday, I have discovered the single hardest thing about being an expat in a fab place so many people call home, including us. We gain friends, enjoy those friendships and develop deep bonds as the years roll by. We are all expatriates, people in a foreign land who share stories of the ups and downs, laugh at the same jokes and the sadness of exciting expat life.

As much as we love the place and enjoy the company of people whom we start to call family instead of friends, at one point or another, every one leaves.

And no one is spared of the lonely feelings.

Dubai is a temporary place and I felt the pangs of one element of expat life yesterday when a friend of mine left. Just when someone gets close to your heart, you lose them to relocation. Sure there’d be Facebook as we both joked but I am never going to see her smile in person, or touch her when she’s down (and vice versa), hug her when she’s sad or simply poke each other out of fun.

One day, our turn to leave will come. I don’t know if the friends we’ll leave behind will feel the pain but I am sure I will.

I did not send off my friend and her husband at the airport because I have a newborn to take care of and because I thought it would be easier for me. I hate goodbyes. I spoke to her on the phone as I thought it was bearable than saying goodbye in person.

I was wrong – I still suck at goodbyes.

Photo credit

I can’t help but stop and stare at this maid wanted ad:

We are a young family living on Palm Jumeirah and would like to start interviewing for a nanny position for our 2 kids: Boy aged 5 and girl aged 3 years old. They have (are) happy kids and go to school full time so I need someone to get them ready in the morning and clean their clothes, tidy up after them and do light cooking for them and also for myself & my husband. I already have a full time maid who is very good and takes care of the cleaning so you would need to help her with laundry and do all the things for the kids.

TWO maids to do everything. Makes you think..then what’s left for this madame, this “mother” to do?

Later on, maybe she’ll post again to add: “I need a third maid to take care of the husband.”

Added: A screenshot so you’ll know I am not making this up.

The classified ads here are unbelievable – you would find job ads with ‘extra’ lines that read: “No Filipinos” or “White, Western female please” and “Indians only”. And nobody seems to care. It’s a common sight and job seekers apply to where they are appropriate.

Racial discrimination is alive and well in Dubai. The companies and employers act like they are choosing a particular breed of dog. See it in action: job ads specifying required nationality. It’s shocking until I saw recent ads of women wanting a house maid job. These ladies have gone a long way from being modest applicants who respond to the whims of the demanding ‘madame’s of Dubai to people who post ads like:

“Preferably European families only”

or

“Willing to work in American/Western families.”

or

“looking for european and american employer”

With the low cost of labor, it is quite common for expat families to have a maid. It’s interesting to see that as employers seeking to employ maids have a specific nationality in mind, the maid job applicants have the same thing in mind!

My old post: New Rule for Filipinos Traveling to Dubai discussing the pains of Filipinos traveling from the Philippines to Dubai has been getting a lot of  attention lately from people wanting to travel to Dubai but faced a lot of problems with the immigration officials in Manila.

Despite having proper documents, Filipinos still face problems at the immigration desks while exiting the country. The proper documents would include passport,  visa to enter Dubai and that Affidavit of Support (a new document imposed last Sept 2010 by the Philippine government supposedly to curb human trafficking but has been subjected to a lot of abuse and seen only as new money making scheme) authenticated at the Philippine consulate in Dubai and air tickets. But horror stories have surfaced how people are bullied into answering ridiculous questions like proving his/her relation with the sponsoring relative in Dubai (which have been proven during the notarization of the Affidavit), show money (cash on hand), ATM cards, Credit cards, certificate of employment in the Philippines, etc.

It’s worth mentioning AGAIN that: this Affidavit of Support that entails a lot of trouble to get is NOT required when one enters Dubai.

It’s not uncommon to hear stories that some travelers have resorted to paying immigration officers bribe money just to pass through the airport freely.

While I don’t condone paying these corrupt officials who trample the constitution’s RIGHT TO TRAVEL, I could not blame the people entirely. Desperate job seekers* sacrifice a few thousand pesos for a hassle-free travel out, thinking of long term greener pastures waiting for them abroad. It’s just blatantly wrong!

Today, UAE national paper Gulf News published an article about the silly ‘offloading policy‘ imposed at Philippine airports that is not only illogical but unconstitutional as well. The term ‘offloading’ itself is outrageous – this happens after you’ve checked in your bags! Sometimes even when you’re already in the pre-departure area with passport stamped cleared for travel.

Offloaded passengers have been reaching out to me via the blog post which they found in Google while searching for answers to their woes and I have answered most of their queries with the information that I know. I am glad there is an advisory as to where to formally submit the complaints, from Gulf News:

Advisory

If you had been victimized by alleged corrupt officials in Philippines airports, please email the Filcom-DNE through matilynbagunu@yahoo.com or alan_1010@yahoo.com to submit the following documents:

• Copy of boarding pass.
• Exit stamp in the Philippines showing the control number and initials/signature of the BI officer.
• Original passport (with bearer).
• Sworn statement.

I really hope this issue is sorted out the soonest. It is disgusting that a country who ‘uplifts’ Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) as the new heroes, helping the country’s frail economy with the dollar remittances coming from abroad is actually being anti-OFW with this baseless, non-sensical ‘offloading policy’.

* It’s a common knowledge that employers in Dubai entertain job seekers on tourist visa then transfer it to employment visa once they are accepted for the job.

[Top Photo Credit]