It’s December 24 and some hours before Christmas. I’m still at work, as I always am every year. After a few hours, I’ll be heading home to spend time in the kitchen cooking Christmas dinner. I’ve recharged and readied myself for Christmas and this year it will be a different one.

No more tears. (I hope, no jinx please)

My husband will/might/will(!) join us on Christmas eve. These past years, work has taken over much of his personal time for his family and for himself, especially after moving to Dubai three years ago. It got worse and worse then there are days when he only gets 2-3 hours of sleep and no time to eat due to a constantly ringing phone (which he just couldn’t ignore). Have you seen the movie Sweet November when Charlize Theron’s character threw Keanu Reeve’s cellphone in the sink full of dishes and water? I so want to do that like, every freaking day. He has missed important dates like birthdays and only “physically” present during anniversaries and vacations, carrying his laptop with him and waking up in the middle of the night working (and thought I didn’t know). The weekends I spent explaining to Pristine why her father is always absent.

I did not sign up for any of these.

He apologises for the lack of time like he is forced to do it, like he doesn’t have a choice. I guess no one told him that life is all about the choices we make. Sadly, we always get into a fight when that topic comes up.

All this gagaloo has to stop. And it will.

The Gods must have heard my cries because one day last month, he told me he’ll be quitting his current job. Pristine and I have spent so many Christmasses without having him around and for the first time in a long time, he’s chosing us over work. He has cleared his afternoon today, hopefully tonight on Christmas eve and tomorrow Christmas day. We will take Pristine to an event and help her make her own gingerbread house or we could just stay at home doing nothing, just being together.

Best nothing and no one disturbs our peace coz I’ve been waiting for this moment in years.

******

I wish each and every one celebrating, a blessed Christmas eve full of love and most importantly, togetherness because I think the true meaning of Christmas is not in the gifts or the fancy tree but just being together with the people you love.

Last summer, M gave me this:

He finally bought one for me after I persuaded him (after my brother persuaded me!) that Pristine will only be a small child once and that we should capture precious moments with her with a better camera. We also live in a place with corners worthy to be photographed.

He was silent for a while, I bet recalling the figures of our financial sheet he maintains and told me he’ll think about it. I thought that was it, I’m not going to have a nice, real camera anytime now and I was ok with it. But what do you know, the man adores me, he gave me one!! which probably means I won’t have any birthday, Christmas, Valentines gift for the next 5 years but I don’t care hee hee.

Here are some photos taken with my new Canon EOS Kiss X2 (Canon EOS 450D/Canon Rebel Digital Xsi model name abroad):

I’ve never been this excited to go out and take photos! For the meantime, I’m waiting for the humidity to go down (it’s still hovering around 50-70% now). I don’t want to take my camera out right now because the lens will fog, dirt will stick to it!

Oh, I just love it so much it’s making me paranoid.

11 years ago, I arrived in Japan not even knowing how to introduce myself in Nihongo. Terrified that someone from my school would not be there to pick me up and I only have a one-way ticket. Plenty of Japanese walking briskly at Narita airport and I don’t know a single soul.

10 years ago, after the rigid language training, I can say my name as how the Japs say it “Gure-su” and more – I was enrolled in the university, sitting in the class with 40+ other Japanese classmates, desperately trying to scribble down notes from what I see as “strange graphics” on the whiteboard.

9 years ago, in the middle of a class lecture, I noticed that there is one classmate who is constantly coming in late. He sits at the back and never bothers to take down notes and always do something else, like read books. Rumors say that he is the oldest in our class as this is his second degree…and he does not need to study, he was the brightest.

8 years ago, the brightest and I were on the same laboratory experiment. We were paired out of random. I detested that he had to do our experiments so quickly and I had to stay after classes and repeat it all for my own sake.

7 years ago, after a shocking heartache I refused to go to school for days. Someone knocked at my dormitory room, of course I did not answer. The person at the other side of my door slid my accomplished term papers through the small space and had a post-it with broken English: “I answered these for you, so you will not fail and go back to your home country.”

…that summer he took me to countryside Japan to see things I never thought I could see (I have no car and train tickets I could not afford!)…he was unbelievably friendly.

…in that countryside 7 summers ago I let my wounds heal and promised to myself to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. The place was a heavenly respite from the hectic, chaotic life of the city.

6 years ago, he was helping me write my first resume, trained me to answer interview questions and drove me to my first job interview, 400 kms from the city.

5 years ago, I finally accepted his proposal to start a life together.

4 years ago TODAY, we were married.

We have a major breakthrough at home. After so many years, M and I finally had a date!! Just the two of us and we went out to see a MOVIE!!

Forgive my excitement, this is just how I react to very rare situations and almost highly impossible stunts.

Last Thursday, M took a break from work to take me out. Of course I suggested a movie date because I can’t recall the last time I went to a movie house – seems to be ages ago already! We went to the movie house without a particular movie in mind but I was hoping that Orlando Bloom is still there with his troops.

Sad news, the Dead Man’s Chest is no longer around. We watched Fantastic 4 instead. It was great. I mean the date, not the movie. I got to be a girl to sit beside my guy inside the movie house complete with all the perks: popcorn, soda, holding hands and all! I’m so shallow, I know.

Thanks to M for making me reacquainted with the movie house again. Thanks also to my mother who restrained took care of the little one so the adults can have fun.

Dear M,

I thought I had to have you checked in the psychiatric hospital when you proposed to me 8 years ago, just after we dated for a month. Although I did not accept that sweet proposal, I played your game and thought to myself that all these selfless sweet acts you show everyday would eventually die a natural death. Acting can be so tiresome.

But fast forward until just 10 minutes ago, you are still the same guy who cared for me, never failing to kiss me goodbye as I walk out the door. Never failing to say ‘I love you’ before we retire at night even if I am too tired to say so.

You lifted me to where I am right now. Definitely the wind beneath my wings! Hell, I could never have survived that 40 hours of labor without you. You were better than any epidural around!!

Thank you for the every day. Happy Father’s day.

Love,

G

P.S.

Happy Father’s  day to my papa too. Thank you for raising the whole troop with courage and love.