Our baby has started to eat solid food and boy does he love his food! He would say, ‘Mmmm’ with a look of delight on his face during feeding time. Since he is just starting, I am sticking to rice/oat cereals and vegetables and fruits; no condiments, spices or even salt. Nothing commercial, all made at home, by me.

Mashed apples, papaya, bananas, grapes (juiced), orange, squash, broccoli, carrots, sweet potato, potato…everything went well. Then pears came and bam! He went from happy to fussy to itchy and had red rashes appearing on his face. We never touched pears again. I introduced yoghurt and again the rashes came and his face swollen. Thankfully, a quick anti-histamine medication (Zyrtec) provided relief.

Like his big sister, I can already assume baby Ben is allergic to milk, (most definitely) eggs and recently discovered, pears. Who knows what more?

It’s so sad because he loves his food and now we have to avoid some and be cautious all the time.

And as if allergy sufferers and parents are having it hard enough dealing with it, the social stigma is daunting. People would ask at my scratching child: Why? I wish I know the answer.

Some moms I know personally to moms I meet in clinics/hospitals are bluntly rude enough to say, “maybe it’s just your imagination!”. Or implying how lucky they are their babies do not have allergies, referring to allergies as “a disease of  weak kids”.

Then it’s shocking how some suggest an ‘allergy cure‘: “Just let your kid eat and eat the food he/she is allergic to and he/she will get used to it!”

Ignorance kills.

The truth is, food allergy problem is real. Parents with children who are allergic to certain foods do not make this up and children did not choose to be born with this. It is hurtful to hear someone say that food allergies are “psychosomatic” – something dieters make up to avoid certain foods with less fuss. These people are of the opinion that no true allergy to foods exist.

Food allergies, although considered a joke by some people, are a medically documented disease that should be taken very seriously. Some food allergies can cause an anaphylactic reaction which can quickly become fatal if proper medication is not administered immediately.

My brother had an episode of anaphylactic reaction – his airway closed up when he accidentally ingested chopped shrimps. My daughter Pristine cries in pain when she has something with eggs. Her body was covered in rashes the first time she had cheese when she was small. She’s allergic to milk and eggs, and all its by-products. Now at 8, she can tolerate milk but still allergic to eggs. You would be surprised the girl is not thrilled at the sight of cakes and cookies – she knows her ‘enemy’ too well.

Allergies are life altering, life threatening for some. If you see a child/person with food allergies, don’t judge and if you’re not a doctor, don’t suggest anything.

A month ago, I went to a salon to get an ingrown toenail clipped. I never had an ingrown toenail before and I almost never do pedicures (the last time I did was a year ago when a salon offered free service) so I really hesitated going to a salon and spend time there instead of going straight home to the baby. The lady in the salon overdid the cuticle and ingrown toenail removal and I went home with the sides of my toenail bleeding. Days later I could not wear any shoes – my plan to get back to the gym at the start of April became just another April Fool’s day joke. I was limping, in pain and my big toe was inflamed badly.

I thought it would heal by itself until my husband told me this was bad. Some people die from really little wounds left untreated. Internet research tells me I could die too, from scary staph infection.

Death by pedicure, imagine that!! *shudder*

I went to the doctor and was in antibiotics for a week. It’s better now and I can walk properly although still can’t wear closed shoes. I still can’t wrap my head over how a silly thing I dislike could potentially endanger my life! I am a mother, I am not allowed to die!!

So that’s it, I am never going to do pedicures again. Never ever ever. You think my unpolished toe nails are unsexy? That’s your problem.

I was out with my son in the municipality clinic for his vaccination shots when suddenly, I was asked: “Is he yours?”

I try not to let it bother me (as this is NOT the first time I’ve been asked when I’m out and about with either of my kids without my husband) so I just replied. “Yes”.

At first glance, my children seem to not have any of my features but a close friend told me, if you look at them close and long enough, you’ll realize that yes, they are my children.

But strangers never look close or long enough. They do not exist to do that. They only shuttle their eyes from the baby to me, 5 seconds each and easily conclude that I’m the nanny, a temporary carer or anything but the mom.

In a country where maid culture is popular and kids tag along with maids while the real parents are shopping (awful, really), it’s difficult to judge whether the child belongs to the carer or not. But honestly, that should be none of anyone’s business. No one should stare and dare ask, “is he yours?”

I am from the Philippines and my husband is from Japan. Yes, my children look Japanese. I know and accept that I lost the DNA pool battle. You don’t need to shove it in my face. And in case your parents didn’t tell you, it’s rude to do that.

Hello, I am an expat mom and I have a confession to make: I’ve got something for SAHMs (stay at home moms). It’s called jealousy.

If you blog – do you know that feeling of avoiding to write something so as not to sound whiny or ranty? I’ve had those days lately. I have suppressed this awful feeling for a long time but today? Circumstances have been screaming at me in the face and the green monster reared its ugly head.

Yes, I am jealous of moms who are able to stay at home to be with their children.

Those moms who marvel at each baby milestone instead of hearing it from a  caretaker. Those moms who can readily go at every kid’s school functions and outings without asking for anyone’s permission.

I’d love to be that mom right now, even for a short time (like until the baby is at least a year old? or random times when the older kid needs me?).

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate what I do for work. In fact, I am thankful I get to have a place for separate identity and interest while earning to support the needs of my family.

I say I want to be an SAHM for a ‘short time’ because before, I have stayed at home for six months and felt isolated, depressed. Staying at home permanently may be right for some of us, but it is clearly not right for all of us. Working moms fantasize about quitting their jobs and taking care of kids all day every day, but the truth is that childcare is hard work. It’s not all laughing and playing peek-a-boo.

Yet I still want to be an SAHM again, even for a while.

So there. That makes me a confused/confusing person: wanting to stay at home yet wanting to keep working and wishing to be able to find the balance somehow. Enter the mom who wants to do it all, but alas, can’t.

The society is not easy for working moms because we are a minority here. I would observe a lot of moms of Twitter talking about school runs, coffee mornings or grocery shopping – all done within my work hours. I never get to participate in those coffee meetings (I don’t drink coffee but would be lovely to meet other moms) and when Pristine was younger when we came here 5 years ago, there were toddler playgroups we couldn’t attend.

And years later, tears have been shed for the after-school classes she begged to join but can’t because mom can’t drive her there and pick her up after. Those ballet and piano classes…

Last night, she gave me a piece of paper – it was an invitation to attend a Mother’s Day event at school, scheduled of course, on a day I have work. I have only attended once a few years back and my daughter snapped at me before I could even utter a word: “You have not attended this for two years now! You’ve got to come!”

Just back from maternity leave, my work load is huge, my leave credits, ZERO but how can I refuse? Work is an obligation but not as great as my obligation of being a mother.

I write this as I think about what to tell my boss that I have to take at least half day off. I am sure he (and my all male colleagues) would understand but why do I always have this feeling of guilt?And jealousy for those moms who can tick the “attend” mark without batting an eyelash?

I work full time 5 days x 7.5 hours  (shortened for an hour until the baby turns 1) + 1 day x 4.5 hours.

I hope you don’t say, McDonalds.

The husband and I, we talk a lot inside the car on our way to work. It’s one of those very few times we have uninterrupted time for each other and he clearly values it by taking (almost) all the stage time and talking about everything that comes to his mind. Once, he noticed the two very cheerful radio DJ’s on the radio on our favorite breakfast show.

Husband: Those DJ’s have a really tough job.

Me: Why?

Husband: Because no matter what’s happening in their daily life at any given time, they have to be jolly, smiley and bouncy happy when they sit behind the radio mic. No matter what.

I can only imagine how hard it must be. The husband, working in sales/customer service field does the same – he has to make his work place his happy place. The place where he smiles, be (or at least pretend to be) happy. Since I am not a DJ nor into sales/customer service stuff, I don’t know how people handle it. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever do it.

When I am upset, I do not talk and I hog the computer all to myself at work. (Luckily, my work allows me zero human interaction)

And I thought about it, where is my happy place?

It didn’t take me time to realize where my happy place is because it can be everywhere as long as my children are there. It’s my go home to place, my retreat, my personal cave. This is the place where my smiles flow freely, my worries kicked out of the window and the place where nothing else matters.

My happy place is where I can be myself, throw my expat mom hat and just be a mom. It’s a tougher job but it’s the most rewarding. The place has plenty of love not enough to hold. It’s the place where I want to be, always.

Where is your happy place?

So Valentines Day came and went…what did you all do? How did you celebrate it?

On my way home from work yesterday, I spent almost two hours on the road home due to heavy traffic. It was unusually heavy although Dubai gets traffic at times (eased a lot after the Metro became operational). I hate to spend a long time behind the wheels, hungry and with hurting, leaking boobs. And it was Valentine’s Day. Nice.

Speaking of cheesy Valentines -

The husband and I don’t celebrate Valentines day and when our daughter who is very much aware of hearts day thanks to her school who asks them to make cards for mom and dad, reduce their red crayola length into half, create lovey-dovey lines and the whole V-day shebang, asked us why we don’t do anything on Valentines, I told her that mom and dad don’t really focus on February 14 because that’s the day for so many couples. Mom and dad have a special day that’s ours only. We celebrate our wedding anniversary instead on July 14 because that day is ‘ours’. It’s a day more special than Valentines.

Amazingly, my excuse reason was accepted, in fact, she thought it was awesome. I can imagine her telling all her friends and teachers about it at school right now.

Now I don’t remember when we stopped celebrating Valentines. We did in the past, just the Japanese Valentine’s kind of way. I’m sure that before we got married, we used to have dinner somewhere fancy, as far as I can remember. I even got some roses or chocolates too. But when we got together and had a baby that same year, there was no room for Valentines anymore so we made some arrangements to cover for it. We celebrate our wedding anniversary by staying out – spending a couple of days away from home, in a hotel or resort just to unwind. But mind you, we always go with the kid with us.

So now you wonder why it took us so long to have baby #2…

Anyway, the husband’s work timing was night shift yesterday so he came home at around midnight. I didn’t even know what time he went to bed as we are sleeping in different rooms because of the baby.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day and you were treated nicely, as you deserve it. For me, it was just another day in my calendar. Do I sound like I’m sour graping? Might be. Though I was perfectly ok with nothing special last night, something nice for V-day would have been wonderful too.

Jeez, I’m such a girl!!

[Top Photo Credit]

I got this one from Facebook via my friend Abigail. I just LOVE this.

According to Priscilla Dunstan, babies talk to us in their preemptive cry by using five distinctive words indicating their primal ‘needs’ and their feelings: hunger, discomfort, sleepiness, lower gas and burp.

I can’t begin to write how amazing this is and all I can say is: Where was this video three months ago? When I was breaking my head trying to find out what my new baby was trying to tell me!

But I am still thankful to have seen this video now before my baby turns three months. Now, it doesn’t mean that your baby won’t cry anymore – it just helps moms understand their babies better and provide them what they want, lessening their hysterical cries and stress on the mother. AMAZING, amazing, amazing!

We’ve tested this on our baby and now we know better what he needs and it’s very accurate! We are happy and our baby is happier!

Priscilla Dunstan is heaven sent and may her gift of sound help more and more moms and baby carers! This could potentially save lives – and help reduce post partum depression!

Please help me spread the word to people you know who recently gave birth! This video should reach to all new moms!

Would you believe that there are two different babies in the above photos? Two photos for each.

Our new baby is a spitting image of his older sister when she was a baby.

They look so much alike that I am already pretty pretty sure, they’ll fight over their baby pics someday in the future as to who is who, which is which – especially Pristine has no earrings so Benjamin could argue it’s his baby photo and Pristine couldn’t prove otherwise! (unless I am in the photo and look considerably young since I had Pristine when I was 27 and Benjamin when I was 35!)

Honestly, when I was pregnant with baby #2, I was kind of hoping the baby will look different – will look more like me, that somehow I’d win the DNA battle. Oh well, the result speak for itself!

We need a nanny. Desperately need.

For the past 4 years+, we’ve been lucky enough (or should I say privileged) to have my mom live with us to take care of Pristine. We are forever thankful because life would have been difficult for us if my mom were not here. There’s a terrible lack of decent daycare centers here in Dubai (unlike in Japan). Now, she helps me with the new baby, not to mention helped me get back on my feet after my surgery. She will be leaving us soon to go back home permanently.

I will be going back to work next month so we’re left with a very tough decision on how to go about with child care. Hiring a live in house help is very common in Dubai and I am glad this is possible. It’s a great system, especially for working parents – if only it’s that easy to find a house help who you can trust your children with. Especially a little baby!

Right now, I am scouring the classifieds for a mature lady, preferably someone with a children of her own back home so they are sure to have experience with newborns and if possible, can cook.

I look at the families with maids and thought it was easy hiring someone you don’t even know, to live with you, pay them to take care of your children but clearly, I was so stupid to think it is easy. The idea of leaving our little baby in the care of someone not family (or someone I barely know beyond what is written in the resume)  just drives me crazy.

Yet another post about motherhood.

While I was putting my son to sleep at 3am after a diaper change and feeding, sleep was a remote possibility. When you’re waking up and sleeping again only to wake again so many times in the night, there is really no proper time to sleep and I wasn’t particularly feeling sleepy. Being a new mom (again) is an exciting time for me, after eight long years, here I am back to smelling that sweet baby smell and enjoying my newborn so much that I turn into a stare fool and could not take my eyes off him. But honestly, it is also exhausting – even with my mother on my side who tremendously helps me around. She has helped me regain my strength and nursed me back to health after my c-section surgery.

I am happy but still exhausted. Then I think of my sister in-law or my close friend Rose and Charlotte who didn’t have anyone with them when they had their babies. They did everything on their own. Taking care of the baby, the laundry, cooking, the dishes, they had to do all of that by themselves. They are still on their own right now.

I feel bad. I am spoiled. I do not even have the right to say the word exhausted.

When my mom leaves in about two months (when the baby is almost 3 months old and still small!) I am going to be juggling things like a first time circus juggler. Excuse the pessimism but I simply could not imagine to be able to do everything!

I am scared.

My friend Rose said you gotta do what you gotta do and make do of things when no one is around to help you. And she also said, I can do it (especially if there is no other choice)! I’m going to hold on to that positive advice. And stop myself from counting down the days when help isn’t going to be available anymore.

When my mom leaves, we have the option of hiring a housekeeper or keeping baby Ben into someone’s care outside of our home because I have to go back to work. Both tough decisions I wish I didn’t have to make.