It’s easy to think outside of the box – only if the box isn’t so comforting

Thank you very much for all your kind words regarding my oh-not-so discreet heart break. I feel great being able to voice it out. I’m working in an all-male office with no female chatty-chatty friend with day in and day out, hence the birth of this blog and random rants.

Days after I wrote that post, I’ve decided to put away my worries, for now, at least.

But I could not promise anyone I’ve weaned myself from the thought of having another baby, that I wouldn’t scoop out the next available baby 10 meters within my perimeter, or that I would get rid of the supply of small baby clothes Pristine used before that I’ve bought all the way from Japan – where I was threatened to be charged with excess baggage at Narita Airport - to which I opened my gigantic bag and showed the pink booties and onesies and the airport personnel cooed and said he’d forgiven me. Me and my excess baggage were given clearance to fly. Yippee.

One thing more, I can’t promise I won’t touch your belly if you are pregnant. If you don’t like that, it’s best to stay away from me. Deal?

These couple of days, I’ve realized that it is not healthy harboring ill feelings inside. I missed to do my usual assignments – pick up my camera to catch the sunrise, write mine and the family’s meal plan, start to pack things so we can move, dye my hair black (damn white hairs), respond to emails, blog something worthy and substantial, call a friend…Golly I am even unaware that I’ve been wearing only one earring, on my left ear FOR DAYS. Pristine told me it was since last week, give or take some days. Eeek.

I’ve belt out my cry, as per my good friend Maribeth’s suggestion. I’ve shouted it to the sky and to the stars (not sure they were listening, they were busy looking fabosh last midnight).

I am ready to tackle another normal day again.

Tagged as: infertility

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