Comments on: logically overprotective? http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html desert living, Dubai style Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:09:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: shelly http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-138439 shelly Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:58:36 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-138439 At five, I would not be comfortable at all. Probably even at 6. I might be comfortable enough at 7. I'm reading Free Range Kids right now, and it's very ineresting and I totally get it, but you still have to work where you are at with your comfort level. <abbr><em>shellys last blog post..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/AdventuresOfABreastfeedingMother/~3/0gtPPVJ9Xl0/having-kids-makes-life-exciting.html">Having Kids Makes Life Exciting</a></abbr></em> At five, I would not be comfortable at all. Probably even at 6. I might be comfortable enough at 7.

I’m reading Free Range Kids right now, and it’s very ineresting and I totally get it, but you still have to work where you are at with your comfort level.

shellys last blog post..Having Kids Makes Life Exciting

]]> By: Amy @ The Q Family http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-138280 Amy @ The Q Family Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:17:41 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-138280 My daughter who is 7 just recently had an invitation to a sleepover birthday party. I didn't let her stay but I did leave her for the party till 11pm. I don't think I will ever let her have a sleepover at any friends' house except maybe a couple families that we are very close to. I think it's normal. You have mommy's instinct and trust your instinct. If you don't feel like you have known them enough, then don't. I rather be safe than sorry. It's not over protective. <abbr><em>Amy @ The Q Familys last blog post..<a href="http://www.theqfamilyadventures.com/2009/07/five-favorites-at-downtown-disney-market/">Five Family Favorites at Downtown Disney Market</a></abbr></em> My daughter who is 7 just recently had an invitation to a sleepover birthday party. I didn’t let her stay but I did leave her for the party till 11pm. I don’t think I will ever let her have a sleepover at any friends’ house except maybe a couple families that we are very close to.

I think it’s normal. You have mommy’s instinct and trust your instinct. If you don’t feel like you have known them enough, then don’t. I rather be safe than sorry. It’s not over protective.

Amy @ The Q Familys last blog post..Five Family Favorites at Downtown Disney Market

]]> By: Stacey http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-138019 Stacey Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:43:25 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-138019 I think 5 is a bit young.. I remember going to lots of sleepovers, but from age 10 on.. usually for birthdays or with best friends, all who's parents were very close to mine! <abbr><em>Staceys last blog post..<a href="http://travelsofstacey.blogspot.com/2009/07/cochin-india.html">Cochin, India</a></abbr></em> I think 5 is a bit young.. I remember going to lots of sleepovers, but from age 10 on.. usually for birthdays or with best friends, all who’s parents were very close to mine!

Staceys last blog post..Cochin, India

]]> By: samulli http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-137997 samulli Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:31:45 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-137997 Well, as you know I'm not a mom, nor do I ever plan to be, but I don't think your overprotective. Pristine is just 5, so there's lots of time for sleepovers when she's older. But I think the main thing is that you have to know the parents well, before you can trust them with the safety of your child for a whole night. When I grew up - back in the Middle Ages - we lived in a very safe neighbourhood, nobody had ever heard of child molesters or anything like that. Everybody in our neighbourhood knew each other, because people had mostly lived there for generations. So our parents let us roam pretty much freely all over the place and we were very independent from an early age on. I think I went on my first sleepover when I was 6 or 7. I live in the same neighbourhood again today, but if I had kids I wouldn't be half as complacent about them going off on their own nowadays. Times just have changed and sadly there are many more things parents have to worry about today than there were 30 years ago. <abbr><em>samullis last blog post..<a href="http://www.samulli.com/weblog/etsy-finds-week-27-2009">Etsy Finds – Week 27-2009</a></abbr></em> Well, as you know I’m not a mom, nor do I ever plan to be, but I don’t think your overprotective. Pristine is just 5, so there’s lots of time for sleepovers when she’s older.
But I think the main thing is that you have to know the parents well, before you can trust them with the safety of your child for a whole night.
When I grew up – back in the Middle Ages – we lived in a very safe neighbourhood, nobody had ever heard of child molesters or anything like that. Everybody in our neighbourhood knew each other, because people had mostly lived there for generations. So our parents let us roam pretty much freely all over the place and we were very independent from an early age on. I think I went on my first sleepover when I was 6 or 7.
I live in the same neighbourhood again today, but if I had kids I wouldn’t be half as complacent about them going off on their own nowadays. Times just have changed and sadly there are many more things parents have to worry about today than there were 30 years ago.

samullis last blog post..Etsy Finds – Week 27-2009

]]> By: CandyQ http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-137993 CandyQ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 08:09:37 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-137993 Growing up, I was never allowed to go on sleepovers either and like you, I grew up fine. My dad would say, "You have a bed here at home so you should sleep here." I used to resent it but now I feel the same way. When Jeolo gets to the age when sleepovers come into question, I'll have to say "no". <abbr><em>CandyQs last blog post..<a href="http://candyq.blogspot.com/2009/07/bleeding-love.html">Bleeding Love</a></abbr></em> Growing up, I was never allowed to go on sleepovers either and like you, I grew up fine. My dad would say, “You have a bed here at home so you should sleep here.” I used to resent it but now I feel the same way. When Jeolo gets to the age when sleepovers come into question, I’ll have to say “no”.

CandyQs last blog post..Bleeding Love

]]> By: Serena http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-137965 Serena Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:34:32 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-137965 I don't think you're being overprotective at all. Going with Pristine on Thursdays is not the least bit unreasonable. My parents only let us sleep over on rare occasions. I balked at it then, but now I know I'm going to be even more strict about it than they were. You simply cannot be too careful. I am extremely selective about who watches my daughter. Usually it's my mom; when she can't it's my best friend; when she can't I start to reconsider if what I'm doing really needs to be done. I don't really do play dates, in so many words, but when my daughter does go somewhere to play, I go, too. My best friend, who is equally selective about who watches her children, and I have noticed that our kids are very confident, and that other children who have had more caretakers are less so. I don't know if this is directly related or just their personalities, but it is interesting. <em><strong>Thank you very much for your input. It's nice to know that some mothers think and do the same as I do.I am also extremely selective as to who watches for my daughter that's why I could not bring myself to hire a "maid" (although that is very common here in Dubai) and instead asked/begged my mom to come and live with me. I am lucky that she obliged.</strong></em> I don’t think you’re being overprotective at all. Going with Pristine on Thursdays is not the least bit unreasonable. My parents only let us sleep over on rare occasions. I balked at it then, but now I know I’m going to be even more strict about it than they were. You simply cannot be too careful. I am extremely selective about who watches my daughter. Usually it’s my mom; when she can’t it’s my best friend; when she can’t I start to reconsider if what I’m doing really needs to be done. I don’t really do play dates, in so many words, but when my daughter does go somewhere to play, I go, too. My best friend, who is equally selective about who watches her children, and I have noticed that our kids are very confident, and that other children who have had more caretakers are less so. I don’t know if this is directly related or just their personalities, but it is interesting.

Thank you very much for your input. It’s nice to know that some mothers think and do the same as I do.I am also extremely selective as to who watches for my daughter that’s why I could not bring myself to hire a “maid” (although that is very common here in Dubai) and instead asked/begged my mom to come and live with me. I am lucky that she obliged.

]]> By: Lorie Shewbridge http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-137950 Lorie Shewbridge Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:52:50 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-137950 My boys would go to the next door neighbors house alone, but we had been friend with the couple since the older boys were in Kindergarden together when the family moved in. I would go over to spend time with the mother on several occasions because we were close, she also was their sitter while I worked (3-midnight) before their father came home around 6pm. They also slept over their several times and their son slept over our house. They began to sleep over other people's houses when they became teenagers, but only after I spoke to the parents about who would be their, and asked what the rules of the house were, and believe it or not, if their were any guns in the house. Then I would drop the boy(s) off, meet the parents, and find all emergency phone numbers and give all my phone numbers. They're all grown up now and pretty responsible in my opinion. Only you know your child and what she can handle and how YOU feel and what YOU think is right for you -- don't let anyone tell you what is right or wrong for her. Let your insticts guide your decisions!! <em><strong>Thanks for commenting, Lorie. I'm glad to know that your boys enjoyed the sleepovers somewhere where it is safe and you trust. I think that is what is stopping me now - we are new here and don't know anyone pretty well to trust them with our young daughter.</strong></em> <abbr><em>Lorie Shewbridges last blog post..<a href="http://wmljshewbridge.blogspot.com/2009/07/sweets-for-swimsuit-weather-giveaway.html" rel="nofollow">Sweets for Swimsuit Weather......... Giveaway!!</a></abbr></em> My boys would go to the next door neighbors house alone, but we had been friend with the couple since the older boys were in Kindergarden together when the family moved in. I would go over to spend time with the mother on several occasions because we were close, she also was their sitter while I worked (3-midnight) before their father came home around 6pm. They also slept over their several times and their son slept over our house. They began to sleep over other people’s houses when they became teenagers, but only after I spoke to the parents about who would be their, and asked what the rules of the house were, and believe it or not, if their were any guns in the house. Then I would drop the boy(s) off, meet the parents, and find all emergency phone numbers and give all my phone numbers. They’re all grown up now and pretty responsible in my opinion.
Only you know your child and what she can handle and how YOU feel and what YOU think is right for you — don’t let anyone tell you what is right or wrong for her. Let your insticts guide your decisions!!

Thanks for commenting, Lorie. I’m glad to know that your boys enjoyed the sleepovers somewhere where it is safe and you trust. I think that is what is stopping me now – we are new here and don’t know anyone pretty well to trust them with our young daughter.

Lorie Shewbridges last blog post..Sweets for Swimsuit Weather……… Giveaway!!

]]> By: Charlotte (Life's a Charm) http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-137949 Charlotte (Life's a Charm) Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:46:43 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-137949 growing up we were never allowed to sleepover anywhere. but in my teenage years, our house is always crowded with friends who comes over to visit us. my mother likes it better that way so she can I have left Matthew to a neighbor-friend for at most 4-hours, but then she's a supermom. I know she's so capable and we do trust them. i think its too soon for you to leave P in 'them', especially to someone you just got acquainted to. but would you leave P under MY care for a few hours? ;) <em><strong>Our house was also crowded before because my parents would prefer our friends to come over than we go to our friend's house! :-) Yes, I would trust you to care for Pristine for a few hours! Of course! because I have known you for years and know that you're a good mom.</strong></em> growing up we were never allowed to sleepover anywhere. but in my teenage years, our house is always crowded with friends who comes over to visit us. my mother likes it better that way so she can

I have left Matthew to a neighbor-friend for at most 4-hours, but then she’s a supermom. I know she’s so capable and we do trust them. i think its too soon for you to leave P in ‘them’, especially to someone you just got acquainted to. but would you leave P under MY care for a few hours? ;)

Our house was also crowded before because my parents would prefer our friends to come over than we go to our friend’s house! :-)

Yes, I would trust you to care for Pristine for a few hours! Of course! because I have known you for years and know that you’re a good mom.

]]> By: mannequin http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-137906 mannequin Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:55:34 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-137906 Mine's twelve and they don't really do sleepovers (boy) but I never did let mine unless I had known the parents for quite awhile. At the beginning, I felt like I forced myself on the other moms because I always said, "oh, I'll bring lunch for us while the kids play". I guess they thought I was pretty weird but I wanted to get a feel for them and see what went on over there and I'd do it until I got to know the parent's. I wouldn't drop my child off at a daycare knowing nothing about it, I wouldn't even take him in a Sunday School class unless I had sat in two or three times first. Overprotective? Yep. Did he suffer for it? Nope because I made all the adjustments. At that age, the kids don't care and if the parent's did, I'd ask myself why they did? <em><strong>I completely agree. We should check with the parents first before leaving our children in their house. The thing is, I don't know my daughter's classmate's parents that well. It was so hard declining the invitation as I didn't want to sound rude and at the same time, protecting my daughter.</strong></em> <abbr><em>mannequins last blog post..<a href="http://fracturedtoy.blogspot.com/2009/07/post-ii-from-boy-x.html" rel="nofollow">Post II from Boy X</a></abbr></em> Mine’s twelve and they don’t really do sleepovers (boy) but I never did let mine unless I had known the parents for quite awhile. At the beginning, I felt like I forced myself on the other moms because I always said, “oh, I’ll bring lunch for us while the kids play”. I guess they thought I was pretty weird but I wanted to get a feel for them and see what went on over there and I’d do it until I got to know the parent’s.
I wouldn’t drop my child off at a daycare knowing nothing about it, I wouldn’t even take him in a Sunday School class unless I had sat in two or three times first.
Overprotective? Yep.
Did he suffer for it? Nope because I made all the adjustments. At that age, the kids don’t care and if the parent’s did, I’d ask myself why they did?

I completely agree. We should check with the parents first before leaving our children in their house. The thing is, I don’t know my daughter’s classmate’s parents that well. It was so hard declining the invitation as I didn’t want to sound rude and at the same time, protecting my daughter.

mannequins last blog post..Post II from Boy X

]]> By: Connie Walsh http://sandierpastures.com/personal/mommy-thoughts/logically-overprotective.html#comment-137900 Connie Walsh Sun, 05 Jul 2009 16:14:19 +0000 http://www.sandierpastures.com/?p=4476#comment-137900 My kids sleep over at all their friends houses, as a team (they are 2 years apart) until I know the parents better. I have always encouraged sleep overs as a way to show independence. Nothing bad ever happened. In fact it was very enriching for them. I would not let them go anywhere where I felt a creep-factor (I have pretty good antenna for creepiness). My best memories as a kid were at sleep overs. The first to go to sleep gets their hand covered with whipped cream and then someone tickles their nose (that sort of stuff). I loved it and my kids love it. <em><strong>Thanks for your comment, Connie.I think we moms all have these sharp antenna for creep factor installed in our systems. You are right.Sleepovers are fun and could teach them independent but right now, we are new here and don't know anyone too well to let our 5 year old daughter stay in their house.</strong></em> <abbr><em>Connie Walshs last blog post..<a href="http://canuckiancontests.blogspot.com/2009/07/feisty-frugal-and-fabulous-is-giving.html" rel="nofollow">Feisty Frugal and Fabulous is giving away solid Shampoo July 13</a></abbr></em> My kids sleep over at all their friends houses, as a team (they are 2 years apart) until I know the parents better. I have always encouraged sleep overs as a way to show independence. Nothing bad ever happened. In fact it was very enriching for them. I would not let them go anywhere where I felt a creep-factor (I have pretty good antenna for creepiness). My best memories as a kid were at sleep overs. The first to go to sleep gets their hand covered with whipped cream and then someone tickles their nose (that sort of stuff). I loved it and my kids love it.

Thanks for your comment, Connie.I think we moms all have these sharp antenna for creep factor installed in our systems. You are right.Sleepovers are fun and could teach them independent but right now, we are new here and don’t know anyone too well to let our 5 year old daughter stay in their house.

Connie Walshs last blog post..Feisty Frugal and Fabulous is giving away solid Shampoo July 13

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